From My Father Will Guide Me up a Rope to the Sky, here are Swans with “No Words/No Thoughts” and “Reeling the Liars In”:

MES and Co. laying down the art rock law on “Gross Chapel – British Grenadiers” from their 1986 Peel Session:

RUN DMC’s unfortunate duet with over-the-hill 70′s sleaze rockers Aerosmith has somehow wormed its way into public consciousness as an important, groundbreaking touchstone in rap history. The repercussions of this well-intentioned but incredibly misplaced commendation are serious, shameful, and in need of immediate reversal. Fear not Dear Reader, TWIRFMR will at this very moment, in one fell swoop, reinstate the tarnished legacy of RUN DMC to reflect their actual worthy contributions to the hip-hop canon. POOF! All done. Pandering “rap/rock” collab aimed at Camero drivin’, Spuds McKenzie lovin’ suburban white teenagers? Never happened. Bad video featuring way too much of Steven Tyler’s scarf adorned mic stand? Permanently erased from your memory banks.

You are now free to appreciate the real RUN DMC:

Tagged: Beats to the Rhyme, King of Rock, RUN DMC, Sucker MC's ]]> http://thatswhenireachformyrevolver.wordpress.com/2010/09/15/great-moments-in-revisionist-rap-history/feed/ 0 dleighmiad run dmc http://thatswhenireachformyrevolver.wordpress.com/2010/08/15/the-larry-mullen-jr-awards-chris-difford-glen-tilbrook/ http://thatswhenireachformyrevolver.wordpress.com/2010/08/15/the-larry-mullen-jr-awards-chris-difford-glen-tilbrook/#comments Sun, 15 Aug 2010 18:34:45 +0000 dleighmiad http://thatswhenireachformyrevolver.wordpress.com/?p=2363 ]]>

The Larry Mullen Jr. Awards are presented by TWIRFMR to recognize excellence in aging.

…and the Larry goes to….Chris Difford and Glenn Tilbrook! Singer-songwriters extraordinaire, and the beating heart of Squeeze, Difford (55) and Tilbrook (52) have composed music as lyrically advanced as any piece of great literature and their harmonies are unspeakably divine . Both Chris and Glenn may have gone through their self-absorbed ponytail years, but today, Squeeze’s brand of pop is just as smart and sophisticated as it was over thirty years ago.

Congrats to Mssrs. Difford and Tilbrook….Lookin’ good!

I met Ed at a club in Helsinki three days before we arrived in Vaalima. I had just ditched a bunch of Canadian girls from the hostel, who I had little to nothing in common with. It was nice to have company in the depressing, Soviet-style building that we shared a small room in, but I lost interest when they wanted to do coke in the restroom with some Finnish bodybuilder who reeked of baby oil.

My watch was stolen in Oslo and I needed to know the time so I could catch the first train out to Pagny-Sur-Moselle. I walked up to the edge of the bar and pretended to wait for the bartender’s attention while trying to read Ed’s watch as he lifted his drink to his lips. He was sporting a cheap Casio with no backlighting and I couldn’t read the time. I gently tapped the shoulder of his Army jacket, leaned in close, and pointing to my empty wrist, yelled, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?” Ed clicked a button on the side of the watch and said in a heavy accent, “3:28.” “Ok, thanks” I said and walked away towards the dance floor. If I could hang out another hour, I could wash up in the restroom, get a drink of water and head to the train station without having to kill time in the streets.

I was sick of dancing but it beat sitting at the bar drinking beer all night by myself. I was old enough to order a beer, but you have to be at least twenty to get Kossu or even Finlandia. A few minutes later I went to pee and the house lights came on. Realizing the club must close at four, not five like the place I had been to the night before, I quickly retrieved my backpack out of the coat-check, ran to the ladies room again, and filled an empty water bottle from the tap. I threw a stack of paper towels and a roll of toilet paper in the backpack, then washed my face with the soap from the wall dispenser. It smelled like the sea, not artificial or chemical-y like the stuff back home. I tightened the laces on my boots and walked briskly out of the bathroom, through the empty, litter-filled dance floor and pushed members of the exiting crowd to get to the outside of the club.

I navigated myself to the nearest empty street corner so I could take out a map and locate the station. Hearing footsteps, I turned around. Ed was crossing the road and quickly approaching.

TO BE CONTINUED…

]]> http://thatswhenireachformyrevolver.wordpress.com/2010/08/15/short-fiction-vaalima-part-1/feed/ 0 dleighmiad http://thatswhenireachformyrevolver.wordpress.com/2010/07/27/german-word-of-the-day-11/ http://thatswhenireachformyrevolver.wordpress.com/2010/07/27/german-word-of-the-day-11/#comments Tue, 27 Jul 2010 16:12:26 +0000 dleighmiad http://thatswhenireachformyrevolver.wordpress.com/?p=2351 ]]> Absacker (noun): The last drink of the night.

The day of the concert, it was announced that the Beasties had canceled  (to this day, I don’t know what happened) and in their place, Timex Social Club would replace them as the opening act. Who are Timex Social Club? So glad you asked…

Not exactly “Rhymin’ and Stealin”, is it?

The year—1987. The venue—Sunrise Musical Theater, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida…The Beasties were now superstars, as Licensed to Ill had, in a year’s time, sold a gazillion copies. Their set comprised of girls dancing in a cage and an inflatable penis—not the only dick in the room, as the audience comprised of obnoxious drunken frat boys and the group were acting like misogynistic pigs. This is a period in their history that Kid Rock co-opted in his own career, neglecting to recognize that The Beastie Boys themselves have disowned this tour and the atmosphere surrounding it.

The year—2003. The venue—Giants Stadium, New Jersey…Field Day was supposed to be a two day event held in, yes, a big field in the middle of nowheresville someplace in upstate New York. Due to legal issues, it was rescheduled at the last minute as a one day event in, of all places, Giants Stadium in New Jersey. Since travel arrangements had already been made, my husband and I went through with the trip (mostly because of Radiohead, who headlined the event) After sitting in hard plastic chairs for six hours (which were also wet from the constant rain), The Beastie Boys played the most shambolic, disconnected, nonsensical set imaginable. The press had a “field day” with them and as I read the bad reviews on the plane ride home, I had the sinking realization that I was already on borrowed time to see Mike D, Ad-Rock, and MCA and that if it hadn’t happened already, it just wasn’t meant to be.

I admit I cringed a little when I heard that the first (and probably the last) critically hyped band to get to me in years would be playing their intelligent, white-hot, sexy, minimalistic masterpieces to a (gulp)…festival crowd. Turns out, I needn’t have worried. I’ve been listening to NPR’s streaming archive pretty much on a loop and am pleased to report that The XX delivered an incredible set with moments that, no exaggeration here, took my fucking breath away.

Now, if you’re the sort of XX fan who can’t accept alternate arrangements or rough-around-the-edges versions of their perfectly produced debut album, then don’t bother with the following link. This is the sound of Romy and Oliver letting  (relatively) loose while maintaining the integrity of the songs to stunning effect. Enjoy one of the best bands to emerge in the last 10 years without having to put up with a sea of body odor or watery beer in a plastic cup…

THE XX AT BONNAROO: ENTIRE CONCERT (ARCHIVED AT NPR.ORG)

Christian Zabriskie needs your help. Wait, you ask, who the hell is Christian Zabriskie and why do I need to help him? Because Christian Zabriskie is a man of courage and principle who holds in the highest regard the belief that knowledge is the key to empowerment.  Because Christian Zabriskie is a staunch defender of your right to free and public access of information. Yes, Dear Reader, Christian Zabriskie is a  librarian. And as deputy coordinator for Youth Services at the Queens Library, Christian would like you to know that due to budget cuts stemming from the recession, many of the libraries in Queens will be shut down (programs that benefit the community have already been affected;  for example, literacy classes, after-school programs, and English-language lessons).

Urban Librarians Unite, an organization of which Christian is a member, has started a Save NYC Libraries Postcard Campaign, which you can learn more about here.

Also, if you’re wondering why you, someone who doesn’t live in or around Queens, New York should give a crap about a library that you’ll never visit or a librarian that you’ll never meet, you need to think about the following:  your city/town/province/country is next and so are public institutions like your local library. Libraries aren’t just shelves of books, they’re what makes a civilization, well….civilized.

photo credit: Charlie Riedel

The magnificent birds of the Gulf Coast, the original settlers of the area, are,  in their own natural habitat, being suffocated, cooked alive, and all manner of what amounts to nothing less than extreme torture. Even the slightest amount of oil can kill a bird, since the buoyancy of their wings is dependent on greedy corporations not fucking up an entire ecosystem in the most permanent, devastating way possible.

You can start giving a crap by looking at these pictures– also a good indicator if you’re human or not. Feelings of outrage, shock, and anger mean you are indeed, a human being. (If you don’t experience these or any variants of the above feelings, you are either a Cylon or an executive at BP–if this is the case, please activate your self-destruct mechanism immediately.)

Once you find yourself giving a crap, you may want to actually do something about it. Here’s how…

This is a stunning set of live-in-studio recordings that find Sumner, Hook, Curtis, and Morris at their most raw and powerful. Martin Hannett’s heavy-handed production choices (particularly on Unknown Pleasures) provided a  huge disservice to the band’s awe-inspiring collection of songs; here, JD’s truth is revealed and laid bare for the world to hear. Curtis sounds as though he is taking you “by the hand” and communicating one-on-one in the most immediate, desperate way possible. The resulting experience for the listener is a timeless, resonating quality that gives the impression that the record were barely made thirty seconds ago much less thirty years. Supertramp released Breakfast in America the same year—what more needs to be said?

Joy Division: The Peel Sessions is out-of-print. Therefore, TWIRFMR feels completely justified in making available the mp3′s for download.  Time for one last ride before the end of it all… 

JOY DIVISION PEEL SESSIONS MP3′s

Gunta Stölzl was the only female of importance at  iconographic design entity, the Bauhaus. She was a peer to Mies Van Der Rohe (and was in fact, nearly fired by Van Der Rohe), Wassily Kandinsky, and Paul Klee. Stölzl was a textile artist who is credited with developing the Bauhaus’ weaving workshop; her designs incorporated Bauhaus principles (clean, modern lines) and today, rugs and tapestries are reproduced using these designs. Stölzl died in 1983 at age 86.

Honey, I’ve been thinking—-we’ve been together for years now. I can’t wait to wake up next to you every morning. Why, we’re just as much in love with each other as we were the day we met (I still remember what you were wearing, my dear, sweet pet) and I would very much like to make an honest espresso out of you. Look, I guess what I’m saying is…Café Bustelo, will you marry me?