Swans

New Swans record=the culmination of age, wisdom, anger, conviction, and harnessed talent….In other words…ART.

From My Father Will Guide Me up a Rope to the Sky, here are Swans with “No Words/No Thoughts” and “Reeling the Liars In”:

The Fall: Peel Session Track

MES and Co. laying down the art rock law on “Gross Chapel – British Grenadiers” from their 1986 Peel Session:

Cubist Superheroes

No, you are not looking at concrete versions of Japanese Mecha. These images are from the “Monument to 1300 Years of Bulgaria”, an architectural cubist wonder built in 1981 to commemorate the First Bulgarian Empire, established in 681 CE. This curiously strange monument was built in Shuman, a town located in northeast Bulgaria. More information (and source of pics) can be found here.

Great Moments in Revisionist Rap History

RUN DMC’s unfortunate duet with over-the-hill 70′s sleaze rockers Aerosmith has somehow wormed its way into public consciousness as an important, groundbreaking touchstone in rap history. The repercussions of this well-intentioned but incredibly misplaced commendation are serious, shameful, and in need of immediate reversal. Fear not Dear Reader, TWIRFMR will at this very moment, in one fell swoop, reinstate the tarnished legacy of RUN DMC to reflect their actual worthy contributions to the hip-hop canon. POOF! All done. Pandering “rap/rock” collab aimed at Camero drivin’, Spuds McKenzie lovin’ suburban white teenagers? Never happened. Bad video featuring way too much of Steven Tyler’s scarf adorned mic stand? Permanently erased from your memory banks.

You are now free to appreciate the real RUN DMC:

The Larry Mullen Jr. Awards: Chris Difford & Glenn Tilbrook

The Larry Mullen Jr. Awards are presented by TWIRFMR to recognize excellence in aging.

…and the Larry goes to….Chris Difford and Glenn Tilbrook! Singer-songwriters extraordinaire, and the beating heart of Squeeze, Difford (55) and Tilbrook (52) have composed music as lyrically advanced as any piece of great literature and their harmonies are unspeakably divine . Both Chris and Glenn may have gone through their self-absorbed ponytail years, but today, Squeeze’s brand of pop is just as smart and sophisticated as it was over thirty years ago.

Congrats to Mssrs. Difford and Tilbrook….Lookin’ good!

Classic Squeeze

The best of the best of Difford and Tilbrook:

Short Fiction: Vaalima, Part 1

When I spotted the Vaalima/Torfianovska sign, I got excited and grabbed a cigarette from Ed’s pack of L&M’s on the dashboard. “Fuck! We made it!” I said while nervously flicking the lighter. “No; we still need to get to the other side” Ed mumbled. I took a long drag and stared out the window. Trucks and cars were lined up all the way to the vanishing point. My heart sunk as I realized we were possibly never crossing the border into Russia…

I met Ed at a club in Helsinki three days before we arrived in Vaalima. I had just ditched a bunch of Canadian girls from the hostel, who I had little to nothing in common with. It was nice to have company in the depressing, Soviet-style building that we shared a small room in, but I lost interest when they wanted to do coke in the restroom with some Finnish bodybuilder who reeked of baby oil.

My watch was stolen in Oslo and I needed to know the time so I could catch the first train out to Pagny-Sur-Moselle. I walked up to the edge of the bar and pretended to wait for the bartender’s attention while trying to read Ed’s watch as he lifted his drink to his lips. He was sporting a cheap Casio with no backlighting and I couldn’t read the time. I gently tapped the shoulder of his Army jacket, leaned in close, and pointing to my empty wrist, yelled, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?” Ed clicked a button on the side of the watch and said in a heavy accent, “3:28.” “Ok, thanks” I said and walked away towards the dance floor. If I could hang out another hour, I could wash up in the restroom, get a drink of water and head to the train station without having to kill time in the streets.

I was sick of dancing but it beat sitting at the bar drinking beer all night by myself. I was old enough to order a beer, but you have to be at least twenty to get Kossu or even Finlandia. A few minutes later I went to pee and the house lights came on. Realizing the club must close at four, not five like the place I had been to the night before, I quickly retrieved my backpack out of the coat-check, ran to the ladies room again, and filled an empty water bottle from the tap. I threw a stack of paper towels and a roll of toilet paper in the backpack, then washed my face with the soap from the wall dispenser. It smelled like the sea, not artificial or chemical-y like the stuff back home. I tightened the laces on my boots and walked briskly out of the bathroom, through the empty, litter-filled dance floor and pushed members of the exiting crowd to get to the outside of the club.

I navigated myself to the nearest empty street corner so I could take out a map and locate the station. Hearing footsteps, I turned around. Ed was crossing the road and quickly approaching.

TO BE CONTINUED…

German Word of the Day

Absacker (noun): The last drink of the night.

Double Shot Tuesday! Keith Levene

In the canon of underrated musicians, Keith Levene rates up there—waaay up there. Known to have been blatantly copied by the now rich and famous Dave Evans (aka The Edge), Levene never got his due despite his masterful, unique sound. Sorry Johnny, but it ain’t PiL without KL:

Shameless Plug

That’s When I Reach For My Revolver will roll-out a new and exciting original comic strip in the very near future. In the meantime, here’s a teaser..